Diary of a slave

21Nov 2017

Always excitement and an honour to visit Miss Suzanna at Her Chambers.

But this time She informed me that during my planned appointment She had an hour’s appointment with another client. For that hour, I should be a good boy and sit quietly in another room.

Whatever Miss Suzanna says goes, and i must accept without objection.


When the time came, Miss Suzanna said it was time for me to leave the dungeon. She told me i should remain naked and follow Her on my hands and knees. W/we entered a small adjacent room. She ordered me to sit down on a wooden chair. She then tied my feet together and tied my left hand to the chair and then put a blindfold on me.

i knew She wouldn’t want me to interrupt Her and Her client, but i would never have done. But there i was tied up, helpless and not able to see. She told me not to speak again until She gave me permission to do so.

Her final words to me were that with my single free hand i should masturbate and continue to masturbate until She ordered me to stop. And on no account must i come! Her orders must always be obeyed.

And She left me. Alone and helpless. Unseeing. And constantly wanking,.i had not been permitted an orgasm for a week, and now i could masturbate, but was forbidden to come.

Not seeing, but my ears were straining to hear Mistress greet Her new client.

i knew there were no other Mistresses working in the building this afternoon, and the only people would be Miss Suzanna, Her client and me.

But the only sound i could hear was the pitter patter of heavy rain against the window. I strained my ears, expecting to hear Mistress’ voice greeting the client, but i could hear nothing other than the rain.

i continued to wank. i had only my thoughts to keep me company. Naturally, i thought of Mistress. She owns me and controls me. I adore Her and worship Her. Everything i do is for Her. Her happiness and pleasure are all important. i am pathetic and useless. Now i have a purpose. To serve and submit to Miss Suzanna.

i continued to wank and think. i could hear nothing. But slowed down as i got more excited, thinking of Mistress. Thinking how She uses me and controls me. It is only with Her permission that i can touch myself, and She determines if and when and how I can come.


my ears strained. Still nothing. Had he arrived? Did he exist? Had Mistress just put me in this room as a different form of torture? Was he late? If so, the hour might become an hour and a half? Would i survive?

What if i came? i knew Miss Suzanna would not be pleased if She was not obeyed.


And then i heard a noise. The clip clop of heals. 2 pairs of heals! What the fuck! Then I realised it must be Mistress and Her submissive sissy. And then a voice. A male voice. The voice of a submissive male. “Please, Miss, give me Your cock”. And then Miss Suzanna’s laugh. Her evil laugh when She is about to hurt or punish or humiliate Her submissive.

i could imagine. Mistress fully clothed wearing a strap on. And a naked male in heals bent over receiving Her thrusts. he was so lucky. To be penetrated by Miss Suzanna. i beat my own pathetic cock furiously. Mistress’ cock is so much more impressive than my excuse for a cock. Longer, fatter. And She knows how to use it.

i heard whimpering. A mere male being dominated by his wonderful Mistress. This is the way it should be. i slowed down, fearful that i was getting too close to coming.

The door to my little room was opening. Was it Miss Suzanna checking on me? I resumed beating my cock. Was She showing me to the submissive? i wasn’t keen on that. But if that is what Mistress wants it is Her right and i must accept. i beat my pathetic cock.

The door closes. The clip clop of the 2 pairs of heals is moving away.


Silence again. i carried on touching my cock. Another submissive was having the pleasure of being used and humiliated by my wonderful

Mistress. i was alone. With my thoughts and my useless cock.


i heard the nearby toilet flush. my door opened. Miss Suzanna was speaking to me. “Open your mouth”. i was surprised at the instruction, but of course immediately obeyed. “Drink it all down”. And She laughed that evil laugh. I took the liquid in my mouth and swallowed. Another sip, and swallowed. It must be Mistress’ champagne. What an unexpected honour. Unless it was from the male submissive!! Banish that thought!! It was from Miss Suzanna. “Good boy”, She said. And then left me.


I was again alone. Alone with the taste of Miss Suzanna’s champagne in my mouth. i was still beating my cock.


Finally, Miss Suzanna opened the door. She purposefully untied me and removed the blindfold.

“How long do you think it was”, She asked. i said perhaps a little less than an hour. She said it had been an hour and a quarter.

She said “Carry on. You can now come”. O, gracious Mistress. She is so kind and generous to allow Her slave to orgasm. Thank You, Miss.

She tells me i’m useless and pathetic; my cock is the tiniest She has ever seen. i know that. She tells me that She will never permit me to have sex with a woman. But with men, that would be different. my mouth would be used to suck cocks. Cocks that would be permitted to come over my face and into my mouth.

i come! Thank You, Miss Suzanna




Oct 18 2017

26Sep 2017

A visit to wonderful Mistress’ chambers.  Such an honour. Such excitement.

An opportunity to serve Her and worship Her. To receive Her effortless power, mentally and physically.

i sometimes lapse into “old” terminology and think of me giving myself to Her. But that is wrong. It is Miss Suzanna taking what is Hers. She owns me, and She uses me as She wishes. It is an honour to be used and controlled by Her.


The usual excitement is tempered by the fact that i had (not for the first time) failed Miss Suzanna. Because of previous failure, my orgasm control regime had been changed to no touching 24/7. And i had confessed to Mistress that i had touched twice. Punishment was inevitable. Miss Suzanna is kind and caring to Her slave but She expects obedience, and any disobedience or failure must be punished.


Miss Suzanna opened the door. At first i couldn’t see Her. It was dark and my glasses hadn’t adjusted to the change in light. Then i saw Her. She looked more gorgeous than ever. All in black setting off Her lovely blonde hair and bright red lipstick. A low cut diaphanous dress showing Her wondrous curves. “Good afternoon, Mistress”. She smiled. A smile of warmth. Yet also emitting power and domination. Without a further word, i followed Her. She then said “Go up to the gold room and wait for me”.

That gave me a dilemma. Or 2 actually. i got to a room which i think is called the gold room and Miss Suzanna has used previously. The wallpaper is predominantly red, but it has some gold. i go in tentatively. But what does “wait” mean. Does it mean strip completely and lay prostrate awaiting Mistress, or stand head bowed. Since i know Miss Suzanna finds my naked body repulsive, i decided to be cautious and waited standing, head bowed. Miss Suzanna enters the room. Since She made no comment or criticism, thankfully, i must have been correct.

After a brief conversation, it was down to business. i stripped. As is invariably the case, Miss Suzanna didn’t miss the opportunity to ridicule my tiny pathetic cock; pathetic and useless. She ordered me to worship Her boots. i got into my natural position. i lay prostrate on the floor, arms outstretched palms upwards and started kissing the offered boot. The front, the top, the side and the back, and then the front again. Miss Suzanna then put forward Her other foot and i paid my devotion to Her second boot. When She had had enough, She ordered me to stop and get up.

i was then ordered to the kneeling steel. Mistress started strapping me to it. She reminded me of my extra punishment. That, instead of my regular 31 blows, there would be 2 lots of 31 extra for my 2 touches. i gasped! “An extra 62!”.  “Yes”, she laughed. “Of course. you need to be taught a lesson”.

She then asked if i had been a good boy, and not touched in the last week. i hesitated. What do i say? i have to tell Mistress the truth. i confessed that i had touched once. “Then that is another 31”, she said matter-of-factly. The thought of 93 had scared me. 124 was very frightening!!

my legs, thighs and hands were tied to the kneeling stool. There was no escape. Miss Suzanna took a cane. She started. “One”, i obediently counted out aloud. Mistress did them fast. W/we got to 10. She paused. It was hurting. my counting was breathless. i do it for Miss Suzanna. It is Her right. i submit. She resumed. i counted up to 31.

Miss Suzanna stopped. She came round to my front, and looked into my eyes. She told me to breath properly. She then caressed my sore bottom. Before resuming the punishment, She ordered me to keep repeating “i must obey my Mistress” and said She would count. She resumed the caning. But She didn’t count aloud. Now i didn’t know how W/we were progressing through the 30s and 40s. i no longer was aware of how many were left. It seemed it would be endless. Miss Suzanna paused, caressed my bottom, and said it was already bruising nicely. She sounded pleased. i was whimpering.

The blows continued short and sharp. The repetition was a constant reminder of my failings. “i must obey my Mistress” “i must obey my Mistress”. i stressed the “must”. i knew and know that i must obey Miss Suzanna. The blows were endless; the pain was never-ending. There was no end in sight. Miss Suzanna paused. “How many is it”, She said. i guessed it must be 93. It was right.

The last 31 were relatively easy as i was now on the homeward leg. “i MUST obey my Mistress”. “i MUST obey my Mistress”.  Obedience is essential. Failure must never happen. Miss Suzanna stopped.

It was over. i was breathing heavily. Miss Suzanna came round in front of me, smiling, “you have done very well”. Praise indeed. But i was in no position to smile back. “It is bruising very nicely”.

Miss Suzanna untied me and told me to get dressed. “Thank You, Mistress”, i said. i have learnt a painful lesson, 124 lessons. Miss Suzanna must be obeyed.

September 13 2017


15May 2017

Miss Suzanna ordered me to undress. As i was doing so, She ordered me to hurry.

When i was naked, She looked at me with repugnance. Fat with a tiny cock. Although She remarked it was hard.

i immediately got into greeting position, lying prostrate on the floor, palms upwards, and kissed Her shoes. i was delighted that She was wearing peep shoes, and i could kiss Her beautiful toes with red painted nails.

Mistress ordered me to stop, and ordered me to go to the St Andrews Cross, facing it with my back and bottom exposed. She rapidly tied me to the Cross.

i had seen that She had her new one tailed whip and quirt ready for action. Initially, Miss Suzanna warmed me up with her paddle.

Only after that was i ordered to start counting.

She started using the quirt. It hurt. i was pathetic. i kept moaning and trying to twist in my ties. i know i am useless. Miss Suzanna knows i am weak. Thankfully it reached 31. Miss Suzanna untied me. W/we both knew. i was a failure.

As i walked from the Cross to the Spanking Bench, Miss Suzanna cracked Her whip, first at my back and then at my front. Mistress cracked the whip; i jumped; Miss Suzanna laughed. i kept my hands to protect my cock, leaving my bottom exposed. i hope it raised Mistress’ spirits after my failure on the Cross.

i was ordered to get in position on the Bench. Mistress told me to slide my bottom into position. my thighs were raised and i was tied at my thighs and wrists, leaving me totally exposed. my cock and balls were at the mercy of Miss Suzanna, and, as i would soon realise, so was my arsehole.

Miss Suzanna said i looked repulsive. She started flicking my cock. She then alternated between smacking it and squeezing it. It is of course Her right to do whatever She wants to me. It is my duty to obey and accept. Miss Suzanna reminded me that i am pathetic and weak.

Mistress then lubed my arsehole and inserted a dildo into it. She ordered me to keep the dildo in position. If it fell, She would stick it in my mouth.

Miss Suxanna then took off Her dress and She was wearing delightful red and black underwear.

The dildo slipped out!

Without delay, Miss Suzanna picked it up, ordered me to open my mouth and stuck it in, reminding me where it had been.

She took it out, and reinserted it in my arsehole, again ordering me to retain it.

Miss Suzanna then put on Her strapon. Before She started fucking me, she placed poppers in my nostrils. i breathed in.

Mistress entered me. It is my duty to accept Miss Suzanna’s cock. She first entered me only a little. And then She entered me further and started fucking me hard. How wonderful!! To be fucked by beautiful Mistress. “Take me; use me” i said.

Mistress untied my right hand and ordered me to start playing with my cock. She fucked me vigourously. i responded with my own pathetic thrusts and wanked my tiny cock.

So wonderful that Mistress is using me. She had taken my virgin arsehole some months before, and it is Her right to take me whenever She wants. Yes, fuck me, beloved Mistress.

Miss Suzanna ordered me to come while She fucked my arsehole. Now whilst i love to be submissive and be taken by Miss Suzanna, i have never felt my prostate aroused, and i couldn’t come.

i failed. Miss Suzanna expects me to come when She orders me to. She was not pleased and said She would punish me. “you are not even hard” She said.

She removed Her strapon, and ordered me to come in 3 minutes 1 second.

Another chance to come, but only in a time limit. Beautiful Mistress stood over me whilst i wanked. i played, aware there was a short time and aware that i mustn’t again fail my Mistress. And since i am not allowed to come between sessions, this would be my last chance to come for some time.

i played. Mistress looked at the timer on Her phone. i played with more desperation, looking at Her beauty, longing to obey Her.

10, 9, 8, 7. i so much wanted to come for Mistress. my only thought was to obey Mistress. my own satisfaction was not relevant. It was not to fail Miss Suzanna.

3, 2, 1. i am close, very close.

O please don’t let the time run out, and i would be ordered to stop.

Mistress is kind and understanding. She could see i was close. There was no zero. Seconds later i came.

Mistress was pleased. She smiled, and ordered me to eat my come.

i was happy to have satisfied Miss Suzanna and eagerly ate it.

As She handed me wet wipes to wipe the remainder, She told me that my 3 times a day edging without coming would cease for 7 days. my punishment was that i would not be allowed to touch myself at all. But once a day must think of Her, get hard without touching for 13 minutes. And of course, not come.

Thank you, Miss Suzanna. You own me.

April 10 2017


20Mar 2017

Miss Suzanna now moved on from corporal punishment and needles to using me anally. My Mistress delights in penetrating my holes, and now she takes my arse hole. First with her finger; then with a dildo and finally with an inflatable butt plug. I love it when she takes me this way. I of course will never penetrate Mistress, but it is very symbolic of our Domme/sub relationship when she penetrates any of my holes.

After having opened me up more and more, Miss Suzanna unties me from the kneeling steel. I am immediately told to go on my knees.

I now realise that I am going to receive my 2nd new treatment of the session. This time it is a fucking machine.

I moan at the thought of this electric device penetrating me. But for Mistress I will do anything.

She lines up my arsehole and cock. She kindly lubes me up. And then it starts. In and out of my arsehole.

It is Mistress’ right to use me as she wishes and it is my duty to obey and submit to whatever she wants.

I submit.

I know I am pathetic in most things I do, but Miss Suzanna knows I try. After I have been fucked for a few minutes, she stops the machine and says those words that ring so happily in my ears – “good boy”.

Miss Suzanna now said it was time for me to be allowed some pleasure. She orders me to lie on my back on the bed.

Before pleasure there has to be more pain.

Miss Suzanna does what alas she very rarely does. She touches my cock. But it is to put electrodes on it. Something that she delights in. I am of course pleased that she touches it however briefly.

Her delight continues as she turns on the e-stim and she laughs at my contortions. My pleasure is as ever being used by Mistress to give her pleasure.

She then uses an electric pin wheel on my defenceless cock.

This is what my cock is for. To be tormented by Miss Suzanna.

But then it is time for me to have some pleasure at my Mistress’ hands. She gets the Venus 2000 and attaches it to my cock.

Thank you, kind Mistress! Such delight as she moves the Venus 2000 on my cock. After weeks of being ordered to edge myself but forbidden to come, this is beautiful. The suction on me is wonderful. Thank you, Mistress. First Miss Suzanna uses it on me. Then I am ordered to hold it. It is wonderful. For Miss Suzanna to be so close. And Mistress gives me permission to come. Orders me to come. But now I fail Mistress. I can’t come.

Miss Suzanna always tells me I am useless and pathetic, and now when ordered to come for her, I fail her.

Miss Suzanna is not pleased. I am ordered to stop using the Venus 2000.

Now I must be punished.

Miss Suzanna still has some needles unused. She now punishes my useless cock. She holds the pathetic organ and proceeds to stick a needle in my cock head. The thought of it was worse than the pain of it. But then a second needle and a third add to the pain and punishment. 6 in my useless cock and then 2 in my worthless balls. I am a hopeless failure and deserve to be punished by Mistress.

With punishment and failure in my ears, the session is now over.

Miss Suzanna had done a lot. I am always glad to be of service to Mistress. She is creative, and my purpose is to be used as an instrument for her to play with.

I am grateful if I can give her pleasure.

Thank you, wonderful Mistress.


February 1 2017

03Mar 2017

I was out for several hours, wondering how Miss Suzanna was doing at the Dungeon, and eagerly awaiting my own session.

Lucky subs to be receiving whatever at Mistress’ hands. How I longed it was me being beaten, being teased and being denied.

As 4.00 approached, I was in a local cafe constantly looking at my phone for the call or text saying Mistress was ready for my return.

At last, I got a message and I hurried with eager anticipation to the Dungeon Suite.

Miss Suzanna let me in, and immediately ordered me into the changing room, telling me to strip and wait for her. That means wait on my knees until she comes for me.

I was excited and nervous. Miss Suzanna had promised that I would be getting new treatment today for the first time. This was because Hoxton is a particularly well equipped Dungeon, and she could indulge herself. I didn’t know what it would be. I was nervous, but I always trust Mistress. She has total control over me, but she will never harm me.

I heard Mistress coming for me. I prostrated myself on the floor, hands outstretched palms upwards, eyes, of course, down. There was no speaking. I saw a leather boot on the floor near me. That was my signal to kiss it and pay homage to Mistress. I kiss it in my own pathetic way like I would kiss a woman. Of course I am not allowed to kiss any woman. Mistress’ footwear is my limit.

After I have kissed all round that boot, it disappears. Another boot appears. I embrace it in the same manner.

Miss Suzanna must have been satisfied. The second boot disappeared. Mistress said “follow me”. The etiquette is to crawl on hands and knees. I followed Mistress into the dimly-lit Dungeon.

Miss Suzanna ordered me onto the kneeling stool. She fastened the straps on my ankles, thighs, body and wrists.

I know I am going to be beaten. I can’t say I enjoy it, but it is what as Miss Suzanna’s slave I have to do. I know she gets pleasure from inflicting pain on my body and I therefore willingly obey.

She uses paddle and cane on my bottom and thighs. As usual, I have to count each blow. I shut my eyes and attempt to absorb the pain. After 10 and 20, Miss Suzanna pauses, and caresses the marks and bruises from her blows. She loves to admire her handiwork, and I am content that she gets satisfaction from using my body.

At 31, her favourite number, she thankfully halts.

But I am not yet released. Miss Suzanna, after admiring and caressing the marks and bruises she has inflicted on my body, has not finished with my helpless body. She scratches me with her elegant long nails and then applies a pin wheel to me. What excruciating pain! And how delightful to serve Mistress in this way.

She then pauses, but does not untie me from the kneeling stool.

She needs me to be held tight by the straps for the next stage of my treatment.

I felt a stinging in my back. And then another. I realised that for the first time, I am going to have needles inserted into my skin.

One after another they are inserted. At first I thought Miss Suzanna was probably inserting the needles one by one down my back. But then I realised from the curving of the pain, that she was drawing a large “S” on my back.

After a while, she stopped. She had run out of her first batch of needles. She then got some more, and continued till she had finished. She took a photograph of her artistry, which she later posted on Twitter. I was glad to be used by Mistress. I am delighted She chooses to use Her property. She can take whatever She wishes. It is not for me to allow Her or give myself to Her. She takes what is Hers.

She said I had been “a good boy”. I feel so pleased. I constantly seek Mistress’ approval.


February 1 2017

03Mar 2017

After releasing me from the stand-up cage, Miss Suzanna dismissed me saying she was going to watch tv and then go to sleep.

Around the Suite, there were bells for Mistress to ring to summon Her slave, and Miss Suzanna said She would ring for me when She needed me.

I retired to my “bed”. It was the cage in the dungeon. Miss Suzanna had graciously determined that I would not be locked in for the night in case I needed to go to the toilet.

Frustrated by my recent experience, I was now resigned to many hours on my own in my cage. I can only think of beautiful Mistress. Not only can I never touch her, but I am not permitted to see her more intimate moments. And not worthy to witness her. And of course I was still not permitted to touch myself.

I made my bed, and crawled in.

It was hard, very cramped and very uncomfortable.

I slept fitfully. I woke several times, often with cramp. I was grateful to Mistress when I needed to get out of my cage to go to the toilet.

My dozing was interrupted by the ringing of the bell. Miss Suzanna cheerily shouted “good morning”.

That was my instruction immediately to leave my cage and make Mistress a cup of tea which I took to her room on a silver platter.

While she was drinking that, I returned to the kitchen to make her breakfast which I then carried to her. I was glad to be serving her. That is my role in life.

Miss Suzanna then told me to get ready and leave her. She had appointments for the next several hours and I had to get out until my own appointment at 4 in the afternoon.

Miss Suzanna did not trouble herself that outside it was cold and wet. I was in the way, and had to go.

I went.

To be continued………


January 31/February 1 2017

03Mar 2017

Prior to coming to London, knowing her likes and dislikes I had chosen a restaurant for Miss Suzanna in the Hoxton area.

I ordered a taxi for her.

On her return, Miss Suzanna said she had something special for me. She had in her hands a latex hood and magic wand.

She had spoken of locking me in the upright cage that stood in the far corner of the bedroom. She had also spoken of pleasuring herself.

It was clear I was going to be tormented in some way.

She ordered me to get undressed and to put on the hood. I’m not a fan of latex hoods. Firstly, they are so difficult to put on. Then they are so tight and uncomfortable. But an order from Mistress is an order, and I struggled manfully (!) to obey Her.

Miss Suzanna told me to go into the cage. She then blindfolded me, locked me in the cage and tied my hands to the bars.

I wasn’t happy at being confined, and I was sad that, while Mistress was allowing me to stay in the same room, I was imprisoned and would see nothing.

There was a TV next to the cage and Miss Suzanna turned it on, reducing my ability to hear as well as see and move.

Miss Suzanna then left me.

The next thing I knew was the low hum of the magic wand.

I could only imagine that Mistress had undressed and was lying on the bed in front of me and using the wand.

I then heard her voice softly saying that no man could satisfy her like a magic wand does. Telling me I was hopeless and useless.

Mistress always tells me I am pathetic and useless. I know I am. But now I was locked away and unseeing, and Mistress was enjoying herself. Never would I see her in such an intimate way. Never would I touch her in so intimate way. Such delights are forever denied a beta sub like me.

I now could hear her sighs and her moans. I wanted to see. I wanted to touch myself. I wanted to touch Mistress. Her moans got louder. As Miss Suzanna got more and more excited, I got more and more frustrated…….

To be continued………..


January 31 2017

03Mar 2017

Mistress was going to Hoxton Dungeon. It was my job to make the arrangements, book the train and arrange restaurants for her stay.

We met at Manchester Piccadilly. I took Mistress’ bags and saw that she was comfortably seated in first class. Then I retired to my seat in standard class. Standard class was pretty crowded, but what was important was that Mistress had a very relaxing and comfortable journey.

On arrival, I took Miss Suzanna’s bags to the taxi queue, and we soon arrived at Hoxton.

Miss Suzanna was greeted by a welcoming Madame Caramel while I stood trying not to get in the way.

After she left, Mistress said she wanted tea. I made it, and took it to her on a silver tray. She was seated on the throne in the dungeon. I handed her the tray and knelt at her feet while she slowly sipped her tea. After she had finished, Miss Suzanna told me to take away the tray, and graciously allowed me to have some tea, standing in the kitchen.

Miss Suzanna then ordered me to unpack her case. She demands that her toiletries are lined up in the bathroom from the smallest to the tallest.

I then waited until Mistress needed me.

She then ordered me to draw her a bath which I dutifully did. And light her a candle in the bathroom.

She gave me a shopping list, and told me, while she was in the bath, to go out onto the Main Street to get some food and toiletries. It was dark and damp out as I went round the shops looking for her items.

After she emerged suitably relaxed from her bath she ordered me into the changing area to get undressed and await her.

I waited on my knees until she was ready and arrived. I then prostrated myself and kissed her boots. After Miss Suzanna was satisfied that I had paid due homage, she ordered me to crawl behind her into the Dungeon.

She ordered me to the kneeling stool where she tied me down.

She chose a one-tailed whip, and started to whip me. I obediently counted. After 20, she switched to the cane. I lay head down, counting and absorbing the pain I take from Miss Suzanna. I am happy that it makes her happy that I suffer. After 31 she thankfully stopped.

But that was my introduction to time in the dungeon at the hands of Mistress. A time of pain for me, interspersed with some pleasure. Mistress is kind. While she thrives on giving pain and humiliation to her slaves and subs, she also allows them a certain amount of pleasure to show that she is in charge; she is the Queen; we are her playthings. I am grateful that someone as wonderful as Miss Suzanna uses a creature as pathetic as me as the canvass for her art.

To be continued………


January 31 2017

21Feb 2017

Diary: Filming with Miss Suzanna Maxwell

by eyemblacksheep

February 10 2017

One thing I enjoy about a lot of the things I get involved in is that absolutely anything can come from anywhere

There’s stories I haven’t told – maybe one day I will, in the wrong order. But, the idea of some of these blog posts came after I’d been in a position to be like “Hey, do you mind if I write about how awesome You are?”

So. I’d got talking to Mr Dynamite, who is involved in Divine Goddesses and then suddenly, “Hey, send us your details – we’ll see about filming some time”.

So, I sent my details and interests and offer came to film with Miss Suzanna Maxwell.

I took this opportunity with two wide open arms.

I didn’t know loads about Her. But, I had already been following Her because She is filming with Merciless Dominas in March, an opportunity I sadly can not take (my March is shaping to be quite exciting and busy – aaand – it’s going to be easier to take another opportunity with MD in the future…) so I was already in the process of warming towards Her and being disappointed it had been starting to look unlikely.
So, this turn of events was an amazing opportunity.

There was a bit excitement, I mean, I had read Her website but sometimes difficult to gauge what someone is like from just a website – but – among anything else, a quick look that DG had worked with other people who I trust, I felt the whole situation was low risk, but still the excitement of finding out about someone via play.
I like that sometimes, when you’re learning about each other through play together. It’s much more intimate.

An early morning, but largely uneventful journey – W/we are a little late being collected (and I initially feel embarrassed as we were both waiting near each other and I hadn’t seen Her!) as there has been a delivery that Mr Dynamite has taken receipt of.

It’s a throne, which I assist in getting into the dungeon – and a slight kick of excitement it is likely W/we will be the first to use it.
The space is very familiar, I’ve seen it in pics/trailers/clips but, as always, there’s the air of excitement.

Before filming I get chance to chat with Miss Suzanna, She can tell I’m a little bit nervous and She is good at helping discuss thing, She’s reading through my interests/limits list and asking questions which is very helpful – some of my nerves is just usually around being good enough. I don’t know why I worry, I think I’ve always been “good enough” but – She is very reassuring it will be fine.

Filming experiences can be different. I want to stress that I pretty much always enjoy filming – on some filming days, there can be a wait for your scene if there are many subs and it can be an almost random activity, on others you can be continuously shooting but the activities don’t have a flow to them, or sometimes it can feel like a session with the camera rolling.
All approaches can be good and have strengths and weaknesses. Today is like a filmed session.

W/we start with a warm-up using paddles. This is also the first part of O/our getting to know each other phase. She is obviously reading my body, learning what I can take today – and I am learning Her style.
She is very much about pain and pleasure. She stops for regular breaks to move into sensation play, prompting goosebumps as she runs Her nails over my skin.
She is drawing a S on my back, I find this quite intimate and erotic, effectively being marked with Her initial.

I’m reminded in my head of something I’d seen Her post, where she’d written an S in needles on someone’s back and wondering if it was something I could do… I’m not even into needle play… but the idea seems appealing.

After paddling, we move onto caning. I had a bad experience with caning last year, I keep trying to convince myself that it was just one-of-those-days, but worry about one-of-those-days when on camera, despite being caned twice (now thrice) since then! But, by the end of the 31 (Her favourite number) I half wished there was an easy way to signify I could take 31 more… but, let us see how things progress in the future.

Me even having these thoughts is a sign She has some form of control over me. Me wanting to take more for Her already.

W/we took a posed photo after the caning which I adore. I think She looks amazing in it and the colour scheme in the room lights Her up brilliantly.

It’s foot worship next which is always a personal favourite of mine – She mentions afterwards She genuinely enjoys foot worship and – I could tell! She makes me work for Her feet and teases and then allows me to enjoy. I had not sought out pictures of Her feet prior to meeting, so my first experience was as I removed her boots – they’re dainty and small, She has a beautiful tattoo on Her right foot and leg and this is a majestic experience.
Because I get the impression She is enjoying it, it makes me enjoy it more and work harder for Her – and it creates a nice bliss. I love the energy when a Mistress and slave seem to bounce off each O/other.

During this play, I discover one of Her strongest features. It’s Her eyes. I’d not really noticed so much in photographs – but I discover She enjoys eye contact (I like how people are different, I’d previously been taught to avoid eye contact unless invited – but this is an invitation and a half!) and it does, it creates a spark that leaves you weak as you look up to see Her Dominance with a simple look.

Moving around the room, I notice W/we have a lot more rapport as I’m flogged on the cross, there’s a few jokes and some misdirection and play that has hints that are harsh and hints that are sensual.

She notes the S She has been scratching into my back is fading – at this point I was longing to be marked by Her. The idea of having Her initial scratched into me was massively appealing. I’m not sure if it is good form to beg to be marked?!

Some strap-on worship next – I enjoyed this much more than I thought I would. In more ways than one. I think if W/we had done this earlier I may not have been as “into” it – but – as I have said, I am spellbound by this point. Again, Her eyes! I look up and they pierce.

Just writing this has me weak all over again.

The excitement of facesitting, followed by some edging leaves me on the floor, shaking, lapping up spit before W/we move for a big finish.
I feel I’ve served an injustice by skimming over the last few clips W/we shot, despite them being utterly amazing to be part of.
But, I would not normally be so candid over private play, however, in this instance in a few weeks time, you the reader will be able to see O/our entire play – but, I almost feel with that in mind – I want to leave you something that makes you want to purchase these.
Some points, I think, leaves a narration to what is happening in my head which you often cannot tell.
But overall, I wanted to enthuse about how grateful I was for such an opportunity to serve and assist Her.
I imagine the wider scene will see a lot more of Miss Suzanna in the future and for this, W/we can all be grateful.

She was very respectful of my levels and I see this as a sign of a good Dominant. She asserted Her power and Dominance over me whilst not pushing too far – so I think this serves as a good introduction for U/us and I hope the clips will provide many with a good introduction to Her and of course I am extremely excited ideas have been mooted for a “next time” in which I feel driven to push myself more for Her, now She has gifted me a glimpse into Her world.

The BDSM scene has been very good to me – and days like today is another good example

28Jan 2017

Thank You for yesterday’s session.

Thank You for the pain and marks You gave me and granting me the privilege of receiving them so as to give You pleasure. And thank You for allowing me some pleasure.

You are a wonderful and kind Mistress. i am very fortunate.

i kiss Your feet xxx.

Your humble slave,

slave mushroom

January 27 2017